KETAHANAN KELUARGA PASANGAN LAVENDER MARRIAGE MUSLIM DI INDONESIA

Revalysa Zovi.N., S.H., NIM.: 23203012041 (2025) KETAHANAN KELUARGA PASANGAN LAVENDER MARRIAGE MUSLIM DI INDONESIA. Masters thesis, UIN SUNAN KALIJAGA YOGYAKARTA.

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Abstract

This study examines the phenomenon of lavender marriage among Indonesian Muslims, namely marriages between individuals with differing sexual orientations conducted to fulfill social, cultural, and religious pressures. This phenomenon reveals a conflict between personal identity and the strong heteronormative norms prevailing in society. Grounded in McCubbin and Patterson’s family resilience theory, this research seeks to understand how couples in lavender marriages construct, reinterpret, and maintain their family resilience amid social pressures and dominant Islamic moral values. The research focuses on two main questions: how lavender marriages are practiced and how family resilience is formed within such marital contexts. This study employs a qualitative method with a descriptive-analytical approach, using in-depth interviews and digital documentation as data collection techniques. Five Muslim couples engaged in lavender marriages in Indonesia served as the primary informants, identified through Snowball Sampling via social media platforms. The data were analyzed inductively using family resilience theory to examine stressors, resources, and the meaning of family adaptation, integrating Islamic legal, sociocultural, and psychological perspectives. The findings reveal that lavender marriages are generally practiced covertly as an adaptive strategy in response to social and religious pressures. External pressures from families and communities are the main factors driving these marriages, while internal pressures such as identity conflict and emotional limitations are managed through limited communication and functional role division. The family resilience exhibited by these couples is functional-adaptive rather than emotional-romantic. The values of sakinah, mawaddah, and rahmah are reinterpreted as conflict-free stability, functional empathy, and rational cooperation to maintain social image and household equilibrium. Thus, although situated outside the ideal framework of Islamic marriage, lavender marriage represents a compromise strategy in which couples utilize legal loopholes to withstand the internal and external pressures arising from their sexual orientation. In this context, lavender marriage couples interpret the concept of a sakinah family simplistically as a conflict-free relational pattern, maintaining the marital bond through a form of social-resilience camouflage.

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